LAUGHTER THE BEST MEDICINE

Here are a few good ones for you.

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past.
Student: Please teacher, I don’t think I want to study history.
Teacher: Why?
Student: There is no future in it!

Teacher       : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have?
Ted              : $10.
Teacher       : You don’t know maths.
Ted              : You don’t know my father!

Mother        : David , come here.
David           : Yes, mum?
Mother        : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.
David           : But I will only get my report book tomorrow.
Mother        : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

Father      : Why did you fail your mathematics test?
Son          : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8
Father      : So?
Son          : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.. If she can’t make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

Girl: Do you love me?
Boy: Yes Dear
Girl: Would you die for me?
Boy: No, mine is undying love

Man: How old is your father?
Boy: As old as me
Man: How can that be?
Boy: He became a father only when I was born

Teacher     : Simon , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did u copy his?
Simon        : No, teacher, it’s the same dog!

Father      : Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!
Son          : That’s why I say she’s no good!

Teacher: ‘Where were u born?’
Student: ‘ Malaysia, Sir.’
Teacher: ‘Which part?’
Student: ‘All of me, Sir.’

A boy came home from school with his exam results.
‘What did u get?’ asked his father.
‘My marks are under water,’ said the boy.
‘What do u mean ‘under water’?’
‘They are all below ‘C’ (sea) level’

Absolutely Brilliant – The Germans Take Over Again!!!

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as “Euro-English”.

In the first year, “s” will replace the soft “c”.. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard “c” will be dropped in favour of “k”. This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome “ph” will be replaced with “f”.. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent “e” in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing “th” with “z” and “w” with “v”. During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary “o” kan be dropd from vords kontaining “ou” and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

I hope this made you laugh and have a great day my friends!